Hello everyone. These past few days I have been getting back into making music. I want to avoid self-pity by going on a long spiel about how no one listens to it. But that is what I’ve felt. My music is not everyone’s cup of tea so I can see why. I am frustrated with myself because I don’t know how to get my music heard. I think a big part of this is the pandemic. Before, I could just go to shows and play my music. When I did that, the feedback was good. The interaction was good. And now, it feels like I am making music only for myself.
That’s a good thing though right? That is the line that we always hear as artists “Only start doing it if you really love it.” But I’ve heard other artists share my feeling that we got into this in the first place because people liked what we showed them. I went to college to play tuba because I was getting positive feedback along the whole way. When I interviewed Sam Parker he said that one of the reasons he kept doing art was because he got attention from it. I guess I just feel weird for feeling bad that I am not getting any attention.
But again, I think this is because of the pandemic. People are strung out, on edge, burned out, all of those things. One of my friends said in a post the other day “But then I remember people have real problems.” And I generally agree with that. I just need to validate to myself that my feelings of being ignored, self-doubt, and pain are real and that instead of letting them stop me from acting, that I should keep making shit. Good shit.